Sunday, October 02, 2011
Love at the wrong time...
A month plus back, I'm very happy and felt really blissed that i found someone that truly love me, dote me alot... and of course i cherish every time we spent together... Almost everyday meeting one another... like not bored of one another at all... of course we have bad days too... quarrel over small things which i started first.. cause i'm a superb sensitive person... so actually is aint easy to be with me in a relationship.. thats my bad point.. i hope i could change..still learning...
but happiness doesnt last long... Yu got a new job scope which leads him in increasing of his workload and getting more n more stressful day by day... plus we do quarrel at times... so making him another stress.. of course i learnt my lesson i try to control my sensitivity. but this aint helps... cause recently he getting more n more busy which become we have less spending time together.. and he feels that he got no time for me and not able to take care of me. at first i very shocked...cause he suddenly said that to me when at first we might be meeting . so he feels that we should be friend back.. i dont believe he will so easily give up... all because of work which he claim... so.. the very same night after we hunged up ... i cried...... its so heartbroken... and after that called my bestie shonia to meet me up.. cause i cant stay home alone at that point of time.. so we went to JB eat...then i told shonia the whole story... she also shocked then feel sorry for me... sigh... the whole day i was sighing and dont know what to do...and that whole night i didnt contact him also cause my mind is totally blank..
the next morning i woke up i msg him.. cause i still cant believe this ... its really like a dream ...too sudden for me... so i wrote a very long chinese msg to him which took me like 20 mins to write finish cos have to type 'han u pin yin" . i wish he will reply me cause i feel that we spend most of our time so happy why will he sudden do that to me... i cannot accept it... so the whole day im waiting but no reply.... i even go east coast park to relax making myself not to think too much... and i broke record of staying at ecp for 5 hour plus! this the 1st time .... i feel that this time the impact hits me real hard... i totally cannot take it. and after that i went home.. i cant take it anymore of waiting and so i msg him... he replied.... like finally......but i keep trying to tell him not to give up but he so persistent that i really cried.... totally giving me no hope.... and i really feels that giving up a relatioship becos of work is really not that acceptable.. i find that its a excuses... i jus cherish him alot so i never give up and keep trying to persuade him not to be like this... but totally no use....... so we sms halfway he fall asleep....
seriously i totally never sleep well and eat well.... this 2 days i only drink water.. thats all... totally no appettie. i just feel really sad and heartbroken... and so the next morning... i msg him that i wish to meet him because i feels that talking face to face is better than smsing... easier to talk too.... but no reply... then i msg again and he replied that not for now.... so i starts to feel that why he keep trying to avoid.... i only hope we can solve it soonest... as i dont wish to drag the time.... but after so many msges i tried to tell him why i want to meet.. he still insist dont want meet... so i msged him said i'll go nearby his place to wait for him meet. He want or dont want he decide.. i myself didnt expect that i got the courage to really went down nearby his place to wait... never never expect that cause i never do that in all my previous relationship... i guess my determination is just too strong that i went down... and wanted to face to face talk to him and solve the problems. this shows that i really cannot accept the reasons he said and so i wish to hear from him face to face... but after that we still didnt meet up as he dont want... and i regret going down also cause this is really not me and to him he will think i just over do it. but at that point of time im confused... donno what to do..all i wan is to hear him telling me ..... so after that i went home cause i feels that its not right for me to do that... somemore he is the one i love... i dont wish to give him a bad impression.. maybe already did.. but thats really nt me.... i swear that will be the 1st and the last time im doing it cause it too scary!
so on my way home... he msged me.... saying he got his reason... at first i was thinking the reason isnt about work stuffs... but after that i realize thats only partial... another reason is cause of this parents... they felt that he should concentrate on work rather then have a gf.... so i was telling him no other ways... and he said that he have to respect his parents.. and i think its right.. family is the most impt in life... so ya.... i have to let go.....although when he said is cause of his parents... it hurts...but no choice.. i dont know whether we will have chance to be back together in future when his work is stable and are allow to have a relationship. of course... chances is very slim... cos i dont think he want to be with me again.... so this is how my short happiness ended...
although i wish even we are friends ... we can be close friends which can share anything.. but i never expect much... cause we are once lover and back to friend again.. its not easy.... i got thought of waiting for him.... but i think aint easy... so let's just let nature take its course.... if we are meant to be together we will be together... cant be together we have to accept it. this is fate..... so ya... i wish him all the best in his work... and hope we reallly are still friends, just like b4 chilling out at night. so ya...... now for the time being i'll just look for full time job.... back to my own life... life still have to move on....
i wish him happy always.... dont so stress and overwork... take good care of health... and hope in future he will find his happiness....
think i'll end here..... and last of all.... till then i still love him.... will only keep it in my heart...
but happiness doesnt last long... Yu got a new job scope which leads him in increasing of his workload and getting more n more stressful day by day... plus we do quarrel at times... so making him another stress.. of course i learnt my lesson i try to control my sensitivity. but this aint helps... cause recently he getting more n more busy which become we have less spending time together.. and he feels that he got no time for me and not able to take care of me. at first i very shocked...cause he suddenly said that to me when at first we might be meeting . so he feels that we should be friend back.. i dont believe he will so easily give up... all because of work which he claim... so.. the very same night after we hunged up ... i cried...... its so heartbroken... and after that called my bestie shonia to meet me up.. cause i cant stay home alone at that point of time.. so we went to JB eat...then i told shonia the whole story... she also shocked then feel sorry for me... sigh... the whole day i was sighing and dont know what to do...and that whole night i didnt contact him also cause my mind is totally blank..
the next morning i woke up i msg him.. cause i still cant believe this ... its really like a dream ...too sudden for me... so i wrote a very long chinese msg to him which took me like 20 mins to write finish cos have to type 'han u pin yin" . i wish he will reply me cause i feel that we spend most of our time so happy why will he sudden do that to me... i cannot accept it... so the whole day im waiting but no reply.... i even go east coast park to relax making myself not to think too much... and i broke record of staying at ecp for 5 hour plus! this the 1st time .... i feel that this time the impact hits me real hard... i totally cannot take it. and after that i went home.. i cant take it anymore of waiting and so i msg him... he replied.... like finally......but i keep trying to tell him not to give up but he so persistent that i really cried.... totally giving me no hope.... and i really feels that giving up a relatioship becos of work is really not that acceptable.. i find that its a excuses... i jus cherish him alot so i never give up and keep trying to persuade him not to be like this... but totally no use....... so we sms halfway he fall asleep....
seriously i totally never sleep well and eat well.... this 2 days i only drink water.. thats all... totally no appettie. i just feel really sad and heartbroken... and so the next morning... i msg him that i wish to meet him because i feels that talking face to face is better than smsing... easier to talk too.... but no reply... then i msg again and he replied that not for now.... so i starts to feel that why he keep trying to avoid.... i only hope we can solve it soonest... as i dont wish to drag the time.... but after so many msges i tried to tell him why i want to meet.. he still insist dont want meet... so i msged him said i'll go nearby his place to wait for him meet. He want or dont want he decide.. i myself didnt expect that i got the courage to really went down nearby his place to wait... never never expect that cause i never do that in all my previous relationship... i guess my determination is just too strong that i went down... and wanted to face to face talk to him and solve the problems. this shows that i really cannot accept the reasons he said and so i wish to hear from him face to face... but after that we still didnt meet up as he dont want... and i regret going down also cause this is really not me and to him he will think i just over do it. but at that point of time im confused... donno what to do..all i wan is to hear him telling me ..... so after that i went home cause i feels that its not right for me to do that... somemore he is the one i love... i dont wish to give him a bad impression.. maybe already did.. but thats really nt me.... i swear that will be the 1st and the last time im doing it cause it too scary!
so on my way home... he msged me.... saying he got his reason... at first i was thinking the reason isnt about work stuffs... but after that i realize thats only partial... another reason is cause of this parents... they felt that he should concentrate on work rather then have a gf.... so i was telling him no other ways... and he said that he have to respect his parents.. and i think its right.. family is the most impt in life... so ya.... i have to let go.....although when he said is cause of his parents... it hurts...but no choice.. i dont know whether we will have chance to be back together in future when his work is stable and are allow to have a relationship. of course... chances is very slim... cos i dont think he want to be with me again.... so this is how my short happiness ended...
although i wish even we are friends ... we can be close friends which can share anything.. but i never expect much... cause we are once lover and back to friend again.. its not easy.... i got thought of waiting for him.... but i think aint easy... so let's just let nature take its course.... if we are meant to be together we will be together... cant be together we have to accept it. this is fate..... so ya... i wish him all the best in his work... and hope we reallly are still friends, just like b4 chilling out at night. so ya...... now for the time being i'll just look for full time job.... back to my own life... life still have to move on....
i wish him happy always.... dont so stress and overwork... take good care of health... and hope in future he will find his happiness....
think i'll end here..... and last of all.... till then i still love him.... will only keep it in my heart...
As Joyful As I can 7:08 PM
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